I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
