Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
