just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
