She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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