when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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