Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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