If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
