hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize