Barsexuality is the new black.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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