i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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