I need help removing her.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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