he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
