do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
