I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
