pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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