dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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