Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
