We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
