people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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