Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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