It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
