we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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