He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
