Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
