I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
the liver wants what the liver wants
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
