I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
