this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
