All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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