Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i out mim tonsoeep
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