Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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