I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
