Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
4 words: hood of his car
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
3pm strippers are depressing
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize