I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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