yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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