just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
