We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
