Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
