I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
