big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize