i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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