dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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