Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
