so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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