Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
