I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
