I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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