oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize