just come out here and I will go home with you...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We left the knife in your bed.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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