Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
should my penis look like a turkey
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
