I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
where am i from again
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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