Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
