I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
