it was like his penis was on wheels.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
