Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
