haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Couch. On fire.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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