That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
