hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
nut hugger
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
