after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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