Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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