What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
