i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
operation harelip BJ is a go
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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