A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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